I have never mourned no having children, but Aunty Jane’s words brought the cold drip of melancholy at facing the reality that I now almost certainly cannot, at forty-six. It’s possibility I want, doors kept open. Shut a that I never even wanted to walk through and I grieve something lost.
The above quote from the sixth chapter in Omelogor’s perspective is so accessible. Even if there is a door you never planned on walking through, the idea that it is there can bring comfort. Do you agree with this?
Omelogor talks more about the death of her uncle. It seems that her memory of him is fond, but his death is painful. What do you think of her not remembering the date of his death and her father’s comment that they were once four?
Religion and culture play a role in Dream Count whether it is small in some perspectives or life changing in others. Omelogor says something important; “I can respect what I do not believe” and we see how this respect shapes her encounters with religion. Do you think that if Chia also followed this doctrine, she would interact with her heritage differently?
Omelogor’s mother makes a comment that Omelogor always has time for Chia. What do you think of this statement and the relationship between Omelogor and Chia?
What do you think Omelogor’s mother saying that Aunty Adaeze could’ve done more and Omelogor saying she “did not want to drown in the lake of thank-you”?
Omelogor’s mother talks about how ungrateful and irresponsible Chia is with money but she refuses to acknowledge her own hypocrisy when saying that. Omelogor’s mother is all to happy to spend the wealth that Omelogor has created for herself. Do you think her mother will come to realise how much of a hypocrite she is? Or that perhaps she should be less entitled?
Adichie mentions the pandemic very briefly in the other three perspectives but seems to focus on it intently in Omelogor’s perspective. Why do you think she does this?
Why do you think the cost of adopting a boy is so much higher than a girl? The reason we are supplied is because of “scarcity and demand”.
We haven’t discussed Omelogor’s blog. What are your opinions on the blog? What do you think of the comments Omelogor makes on the blog? Do you think the blog has the impact Omelogor thinks it does?
If our daughters do not know how beautiful they are, just as they are, then surely we have failed.
Omelogor struggles to find common ground in which she can connect with Atasi. To Omelogor, Atasi seems to be drifting and fading away. Do you think there is anything Omelogor could do to bridge this gap? If you could give Omelogor advice, what would it be?
What do you think of Omelogor being a part of the government and the wealthy that steals from its people? Why do you think she does this?
In Chapter Eight we read about her Robyn Hood initiative, do you think Omelogor creates this company because of what happened to Atasi, or because in her line of work mean tend to be in positions of power? What do you think drives her to do this?
8 responses to “Dream Count – Day Eight”
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1. Yes even though she maybe too old to have a child naturally there is still the possibility of adoption.
2. Her farther still feels the loss of her uncle.
3. Religon and culture give you a connections wiht something so If Chia followed Omelogar respect of religion and differnt cutures she would interact differntly.
4. The relationship between Chia and Omelogor seems to have a deeper connection in these chapter. Her mom seems insure in herself and seem to fin fault all the time.
5. Aunty Adaeze gave with a willing heart and didn’t feel the need to be thank for it all the time. so she gave what she felt was needed.
6. I don’t think Omelogor’s mother will change, she feels entitled and she doesn’t appreciate anything. She’s even critial of her own daughters success
7. Omelogor is more aware of the news and takes note everyday, whereas the other weren’t. So I think that why we have more of Omelogor’s POV of the pandemic
8. It’s important to a lot of men that they have a son to carry on with thier linage, so the demand for boys is higher.
9. Omelogor’s to me seems like she is try to make men better for women, giving advise to help them be better me. I don’t think it has the impact she is hoping for.
10. Atasi seems to be a child that lives in her own world and doesn’t talk much. Her interests seem to be fashion and modeling. If Omelogor could find some common interest in these industries that they could discuss she might be able to get through to her.
11. I didn’t think it was right but I understand why, she want to advance in her job and she was intelligent enough to come up wiht a way and get recognition form the CEO.
12. I think she created the Roby Hood initiative as she saw how the rich getting richer with no accountability , it was her way to give back to those that worked hard and needed some help, maybe also to not feel so bad about the way the bank was stealing.
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Absolutely
Not remembering the exact date wasn’t intentional—she was probably occupied with other things. Like Chia said, she did remember in her unconscious mind. As for her father’s comment, it shows how deeply he still feels the loss. People tend to move on and forget the dead, but his words reveal that he carries that grief with him.
I doubt it. Chia is completely absorbed in American culture and doesn’t seem interested in reconnecting with her heritage.
I didn’t think much of it at first, but it could stem from her mother feeling hurt or even jealous that Omelogor isn’t as close to her maternal family. As Omelogor said, sometimes it’s not about how relatable someone is; some connections just feel natural.
I completely understood her. Constantly receiving handouts can be exhausting, especially when there’s an unspoken expectation of gratitude. It’s also unfair for her mother to expect someone else to provide just because they have money. I wonder if Adaeze’s husband was simply respecting Omelogor’s father’s wishes—men talk, and maybe he had mentioned that he wanted to provide for his family himself.
Exactly my thoughts—and no, I don’t think she ever will.
She was actively following the news about the pandemic.
Men obviously want sons to carry on the family’s legacy.
I don’t think the blog has the level of impact Omelogor imagines it does. And I find it ironic that she was hinted at being gay, yet her blog is for men only. In real life, gay women and men aren’t exactly allies.
No, Atasi probably assumed that because Omelogor isn’t her real family, she’d be easier to manipulate. Since Omelogor isn’t bending to her will, Atasi might be resenting her for it—combined with her frustration over the entire situation. Teenagers can be unpredictable like that.
She genuinely believed she was carving out her own path to success
She saw how the government profited off people’s money without giving anything back, so she decided to redirect some of that wealth to the community. In her mind, no one was truly being harmed.
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1. I definitely agree but you just never know what tomorrow might hold. You might not want something today but you just can’t be sure that that truth will still hold tomorrow.
2. I think she might have not felt or understood the pain as much as her father did and still is.
3. I think each to their own honestly. Though I definitely believe that she would react differently if she followed cultural norms and religious norms more.
4. I think that they are very close to a point where Omelogor’s mother disapproves of their closeness.
5. I totally agree with Omelogor in that it sometimes does feel like certain people offering you help is more of a burden on you rather than assistance and I applaud her for working so hard to do certain things for herself where possible.
6. I don’t think she will ever change people like her are always quick to point out the wrongs of others but can never see their own.
7. I think it’s because of the work Omelogor does she was the one in the know-how of current affairs and all.
8. Because generally a boy child is perceived as more important than a girl child because a boy child is seen as the one that can grow the family name as opposed to the girl child that will potentially be married off to another family.
9. I don’t think it has the impact that she thinks it has and I also don’t see why she is so “pro-men”.
10. To let him go honestly they are worlds apart and he seems a little too immature for her.
11. I guess this is how it all begins. You start off poor and hard working then one day someone introduces you to the life of corruption and you fall in too deep and enjoy the life it affords you that you end up turning a blind eye to it all.
12. I think it’s her way of using bad for good I guess. -
1. Having a door closed is never pleasant, especially as women. We like having options, even if we won’t use them. This does provide comfort and security… Just knowing that you could do something is satisfaction enough.
2. I think it’s healthy that Omelogor remembers her uncle fondly, reminiscing on his life, rather than his death, especially because it was so painful. I understand her not wanting to obsess on the date of his death. Her father’s comment breaks my heart. Such an underrated lament: the dwindling of the family numbers hurts. However, this also keeps his brother’s memory alive. Omelogor never forgets him when she hears the word ‘four’
3. I don’t think Chia suffers from lack of belief or respect in terms of heritage. It seems more like detachment or disenchantment. I honestly cannot fault her for being disillusioned with tradition and religion as it has not mattered to her. She has been exposed to it, but not immersed… I find Omelogor’s statement to be hypocritical and out-of-character for one so outspoken
4. The cousins have a close relationship, and given their different personalities, it can be difficult to understand. Omelogor’s mother disapproves of this, because she probably believes that Chia is a bad influence on Omelogor: unmarried, with no “serious ambitions”. Their relationship is healthy: they can both be themselves, without filter, around each other. Everybody wants that. This may even be Chia’s dream come true: her cousin truly knows her
5. Family is always burdened with helping other family members, even when it is unnecessary or unwelcome. Omelogor’s mother feels a bit entitled in her assessment, especially as the money Adaeze spends is her husband’s and not her own – there is no obligation to help, especially from a cultural perspective (a woman is practically disowned as soon as she marries). Any assistance rendered would put Omelogor in their debt. I’m glad she has never wanted that. She is self-made and does not owe her success to genetics.
6. Omelogor’s mother is always entitled to bigger and better, whether from Adaeze or Omelogor. She will never realise her hypocrisy as she has no self-inspection.
7. I really don’t know why the pandemic means more from Omelogor’s perspective.
8. Girls are undervalued and often given less than boys in their upbringing. Some still see no value in providing girls with quality education (an exorbitant expense).
9. Omelogor’s blog feels like a joke gone wrong or even a long con. I don’t see its impact at all. I find it quite stupid and useless as it diminishes Omelogor’s other shining qualities.
10. Omelogor is really overstepping in her responsibility to Atasi, hence the girl’s resentment – she is not the girl’s mother! Their relationship is one-sided and fueled by guilt, which Atasi understands very well. Her brooding and lack of engagement with Omelogor is understandable, but it seems Omelogor expects Atasi to drown in the lake of thank-you. My advice to Omelogor is to know her place: support, but never supercede Atasi’s mother. Be the “cool, rich auntie” but leave the parenting and advice to the family.
11. Evil triumphs when good people do nothing. One might say Omelogor sees the evil being done by the government and has found a way to do something different. I don’t support it, but she is making a difference.
12. Who knows why Omelogor does anything? I don’t believe it is because of Atasi, but it could be. I believe she just wants to leave a legacy of good works: there is more than one way to carry your name through generations. Robyn Hood is her baby, the one thing that sustains and fulfils her.
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1. I guess I do, to have options even when you closed it off to yourself.
2. I don’t think not remembering the date consciously means anything, most people don’t know what day it is most days. Her subconscious did though. Her father misses him immensely.
3. I don’t know, each person has the right to choose what they follow.
4. It sounds like her mom is jealous of her closeness with her cousin.
6. I think entitled people seldom realise their ways of hypocrisy.
7. She was watching the headlines across the world more.
8. Boys are seen as more valuable maybe.
9. I don’t think it does. She comes across as snide and arrogant.
10. Just listen, don’t talk, stop giving seemingly empty advice. Be ears not a voice.
11. I don’t agree with stealing of course but wealth should be distributed more equally. Politicians and people working for government services earn way more than what they should,
12. I think it’s a combination of her wanting control, revenge and helping people less fortunate.
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Yes, the idea of keeping doors open, even if we don’t plan to walk through them, offers a sense of control and possibility. Losing that choice can bring unexpected grief, even if we never intended to pursue it.
Her uncle’s death left an emotional impact, but not remembering the date shows how grief evolves. Her father’s words highlight the slow erosion of family, emphasizing loss over time.
Yes, if Chia approached her heritage with respect rather than resistance, she might find a more balanced way to engage with it, rather than rejecting it outright.
Omelogor and Chia have a deep bond, one that Omelogor prioritizes. Her mother’s comment suggests she sees Chia as taking advantage of this, or that Omelogor gives more than she gets.
Omelogor wants gratitude to be a choice, not an obligation. Her mother’s statement implies an expectation that people should do more, but Omelogor resists this transactional mindset.
Her mother may never acknowledge her hypocrisy because entitlement often blinds people to their contradictions. She benefits from Omelogor’s success and may not want to question that.
Omelogor’s perspective on the pandemic is more detailed, possibly because her wealth and government ties put her closer to its broader impact, beyond just personal loss.
The higher cost of adopting a boy likely stems from deep-seated gender biases and societal expectations of sons carrying family legacies, making them more “valuable” in the adoption market.
Her blog is an outlet for her thoughts and activism, but its impact may be more personal than widespread. It allows her to process injustice, but whether it truly changes things is debatable.
Omelogor struggles to reach Atasi, and the gap may be due to changing priorities or personal insecurities. My advice would be to listen without judgment and meet Atasi where she is.
She justifies her actions as balancing the scales, but it raises ethical concerns. She may feel powerless in larger systems of corruption, choosing to play the game rather than fight it.
Her initiative is likely fueled by both personal experience and systemic inequality. She sees how women, especially those without power, suffer under corrupt men, driving her to take action.
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1. I understand what she means. Not accessing something because of choice is better than not accessing something because of inaccessibility.
2. Grief manifests differently and I think Omelogor beats herself too much for not remembering the date of the death when the date itself does not matter. She still holds fond memories of her uncle – and it is clear that so too does her father – and that is what is most important. People live on in our memories.
3. To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t think Chia has to be anything like Omelogor though. They are each wonderful in their own ways.
4. Omelegor and Chia’s relationship is more than just kinship between cousins. They truly understand and connect with each other, and while they are family, they are also the closest of friends. Her mother clearly wishes Omelogor would give the same attention to her other cousins, but you cannot fake or forces these kinds of bonds.
5. It seems Omelogor’s mother holds a sense of envy towards Chia’s family. From that envy comes the expectation that they are entitled to Chia’s family’s wealth simply because of their blood ties. Omelogor on the other hand prefers being a self-made woman. Her response shows that she does not like feeling indebted to others.
6. It looks like her mother is too set in her ways and beliefs to ever see her hypocrisy and self-imposed entitlement.
7. I did not notice this until reading this question. I suppose it is because the pandemic had a stronger impact on Omelogor than the others? It would also be redundant to heavily focus on the same things in each perspective.
8. It is a cultural thing. Boys are seen as more important and “worthy” than girls because they can carry on the family name. They are seen as the heads of the household and the ones set to inherit the family’s assets. Across history, having a boy has been seen as a sign of success. In many cultures, this (deeply patriarchal) belief prevails.
9. I quite enjoy Omelogor’s blog. It is scathing and mocking, but deceptively so. However, it’s difficult to say if the blog has the impact she wishes.
10. As someone who has been in Atasi’s situation, my best advice would be: get the girl profession help (even if she does not want it) as soon you can.
11. I’m not sure. It is possible that she built up her way up so that she could have the power and money to help those below her (as is evident with the Robyn Hood initiative). Being in her position also gave her access to the corrupted ins-and-outs of the government and the wealthy, which she can always use to exploit or expose them.
12. I’d say it’s more of the latter, though it is possible that her feelings toward Atasi may have contributed. The Robyn Hood initiative does exactly what the mythical Robin Hood did himself, except in Omelogor’s case it is for the benefit of women. I find it quite brilliant, even if it is not entirely lawful.
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My view is a little different, I don’t think of what if’s I know what I want and there are no open doors that haven’t been walked through, if that makes sense.
The mind has its methods to protect itself, if something is too painful, it’s likely in some way, we will forget whatever reminds us of that pain.
I think in traditional African societies, there is this notion of black tax. Essentially, children are created to bring their parents and siblings out of poverty. I think this is what makes her mother seem justified in her position.
I agree with the reason, statistically, there are more women than men, and so there is scarcity and demand.
I mean it is an interesting concept and I liked the intention behind the blog. I also address with this quote, if our beauty is determined by the perception of others we have failed.
I think its a warped way of thinking, it doesn’t neutralise greed, it perpetuates it.
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