1. How does Lucian’s midlife crisis shape his actions and relationships throughout the first few chapters?
2. How is Lucian introduced in the opening chapters, and what first impressions does he give to the reader?
3. Do you think the author’s use of humour affects your perception of Lucian’s flaws in the opening chapters?
4. In what ways is Lucian both sympathetic and frustrating as a character during the first four chapters?
5. Based on Chapters 1-4, do you think Lucian is genuinely capable of change, and what evidence supports your view
6. Activity: The Practice of Channeling Your Naaiery
This is an exercise you can practice wherever you feel the naaiery borrel up within you.
Whether it’s a real situation you have been in, or completely fictional, fill in the below on how you would channel your naaiery.
| Goal | |
| Who | |
| When | |
| Where | |
| How |
4 responses to “How To Stop Being A Naai – Catch Up Day Questions”
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1. Lucian’s midlife crisis makes him restless and dissatisfied with his life, causing him to question who he is and what he wants. This influences the decisions he makes and the way he treats the people around him. His desire for change and validation sometimes leads him to act selfishly or impulsively, creating tension in his relationships.
2. Lucian is introduced early on as someone who immediately stands out because of his confidence, charm, and somewhat provocative personality. The first impression he gives is charismatic and entertaining, but also self-assured, complicated, and potentially frustrating. Also, you get the impression he is a drunk.
3. Yes, it makes some of his more selfish or ridiculous behaviour easier to laugh at and makes him feel more human and relatable. But at the same time, the humour doesn’t completely excuse his actions.
4. You can see that he is struggling with his sense of identity, ageing, relationships, and the feeling that his life may not be what he imagined and it makes him feel human but at the same time he can be frustrating because he often focuses on his own wants and feelings without fully considering how his actions affect the people around him. I just wanted to shake this bra and tell him to grow up haha.
5. There isn’t that much evidence but I think Lucian is capable of change because he has self-awareness and he knows he is a naai. His desire for something different creates the possibility that he could grow.
6. Goal- Stop being a people-pleaser and finally say what I actually think.
Who- Anyone who repeatedly takes advantage of my kindness.
When- The next time it happens
Where- Somewhere I can speak without an audience.
How- Calmly, directly and with boundaries. No screaming, no guilt, no dramatic exit -
1. Lucian’s midlife crisis brings everything in his life to a breaking point. It seems like he and Layla have been coasting in their relationship, keeping it together for the kids and the nostalgia of what they had. Now with the added stress of Lucian’s unemployment, the strain between them is too much. It kicks Lucian’s drinking into overdrive, too, and just generally makes everything worse.
2. I was totally charmed by Lucian in the opening chapters. Arderne does such a great job of showing how charismatic some jackass guys can be and how you can like them even with their glaring flaws hanging out there in the open. Be careful out there!
3. For sure, the book’s dark humour and cheeky delivery was a great smokescreen for how bad things really are in Lucian’s household. When shit went down, it SHOCKED me. It felt like the violence came out of nowhere when in reality, it was always there, just easy to ignore because Lucian is such a fun time guy.
4. Lucian’s beef with the world is so relatable. His boss is a d-bag who takes advantage of vulnerable people. His marriage is stalling. He recognises that he’s floundering in life but doesn’t know what to do about it. What’s frustrating is that instead of being honest with Layla or asking for help, he goes drinking. And starts shit to deflect from how he’s feeling.
5. I actually do! Lucian consistently calls out his own worst impulses. He never takes the next step and course corrects, buuut you know what they say, “Knowing you have a problem is the first step to overcoming a problem.”
The Practice of Channeling Your Naaiery:
Goal – Speak up when someone says something out of pocket instead of being shocked into silence
Who – Any jerk with an off-colour joke
When – Whenever I hear it
Where – Trapped in bad conversations
How – Ask them to explain themselves. “Why is that funny? I don’t get the joke.” -
1. Lucian’s midlife crisis makes him into somebody that is incredibly undesirable because he is so agitated, easily aggravated and selfish. He ends up ruining pretty much every relationship in his life within the first few chapters through reckless, impulsive and downright diabolical behavior.
2. My first impression of Lucian is that he is an absolutely horrible creature. He is insufferable to read about in the first part of the book and he becomes more and more annoying and really ends up disgusting me with the way that he speaks and just overall reacts to situations.
3. I think the author’s use of humor definitely makes Lucian more palatable in the opening chapters because he is such an unlikable character to read about.
4. I feel sorry for Lucian because it seems like he’s stuck living in a dream that feels impossible to make a reality, which makes him so angry and frustrated in live. But the way that he reacts to situations and talks to and treats people makes me feel like he kind of deserves everything that he’s experiencing.
5. Initially, no, I didn’t think he was capable of change just purely because he seemed to resist anything ‘pre-naai’. But, now I think that there are redeemable qualities in him, so, yes? It seems like he’s definitely trying. But still, there’s the fact that he doesn’t go to therapy like Lyla asked him to and instead kind of tries to self-therapize. And then we have his day drinking, that really makes me change my opinion again. I don’t think people are capable of implementing long-term change if they don’t really want it themselves and I’m not sure if Lucian wants it. -
1. Lucian’s midlife crisis causes him to reach a breaking point and act in ways that costs him his job, his partner, and a proper relationship with his child. It also affects his strengthens is relationships with his vices, making me more dependent on alcohol, cigarettes, and bad company.
2. Lucian is introduced as someone who is self-aware enough to know he has problems but naive in his belief that he can solve his problems himself. He is portrayed as someone who is both confident and insecure – as he shifts between charming self-assuredness and despondent/anxious reflection. He is initially portrayed as a ‘bad’ seemingly unlikeable guy who is just complex enough to keep you wanting to know more about him.
3. Definitely! Mia Ardene has this wry humour that makes Lucian more relatable in his humanness. There’s just something about sarcasm and dark humour that tends to draw a reader in (me being the reader). I think it speaks to our (read: my) own ways of coping with the darkness of the world by making light of it. Ardene’s portrayal of Lucian is also just really entertaining! She’s great at making unsavoury characters more digestible.
4. Gosh, SO MANY WAYS. I could write a separate book on how Lucian evokes both sympathy and frustration in the first 4 chapters alone. One such way is his relationship with Layla. You can see he really loves her and he does want to make it work, but despite his attempts, his character flaws and unresolved issues cause him to mess things up, every time! One minute you’re pitying the guy and rooting for him, next minute he’s doing something so irrevocably stupid that you can’t help being exasperated. Mia Arderne does well with taking us through an emotional rollercoaster with his character.
5. I think it’s too early to say for certain. His inner dialogue and degree of self-awareness points to someone who is not beyond redemption, but his inability to accept external help (i.e. therapy), volatile moods/behaviour and denial of certain issues makes it difficult to ascertain which way his story will go.
6. Going to practice this activity in private whenever I feel the naaiery borrel up within me 😉
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